Tuesday, October 07, 2008


October used to be kindof a hard month for me. You see my father passed away in October. What a painful time in my life. My father never had been sick and suddenly he had problems with his heart. I found out later that it wasn't sudden, it had been a progression from the smoking he had done all those years. Anyway, it seemed like he was here then he wasn't.

The leaves start to change in October and on the Monday after we'd buried him, I walked outside onto my mother's porch and looked at the trees and realized that the world seemed so different. I felt different. I finally came to the conclusion that it was because my father was no longer here. I mean, he wasn't just on vacation or at work, he was never coming back. How sad that made me.

He has missed so much. He never got the chance to see my sisters boys and barely knew mine. There were many more celebrations like my first book launch and signing, he wasn't there. It seemed like he should have been, but that's the way it is.

As the years went by, I've learned to trust God and know that death is a part of life and that our relationships are gifts from God. We will miss the relationship we had with the person, but the memories that were created will last as long as you can remember them. That brings a smile to my face. I still miss my daddy, but I'm better in dealing with his absence.

October is also my sisters birth month. She even had her first child in October, so we have two birthdays in our immediate family to celebrate in this month. Happy Birthday, Shirlonda and Jaeden.

1 comment:

Gwyneth Bolton said...


It never gets easier when missing a loved one. But after a while we can remember the wonderful times and smile through the tears. Big hugs to you.